songs

you said you’d stay - but only in songs I’ll never play

I am scared of their rhythms

beats and chords

scared that each snare

is a trap in disguise

waiting to grab me and

pull me down

into the rabbit hole that holds

no wonderland

only me

wandering through empty melodies

and even emptier promises.

So I will never hit play

for I know you are waiting

in between the notes

that fill me with terror.